About the Therapeutic Process
Most people turn to psychotherapy because they are having significant problems in some important area(s) of their life. Often times, a relationship seems to have lost an important spark, or the boss at work is becoming unbearable. Other times, people seek out counseling help because they realize that they are not living up to their potential. When we are involved in our busy lives, we often do not see how our past comes up to haunt us. At times, we find we are behaving in ways or experiencing important people in ways that causes us discomfort, or even pain. What we learned about the world in our early years helps form how we experience the world now. It is as if the lens we look through now was formed in our childhood. Unresolved childhood problems, wishes, fantasies or traumas can cause us a great deal of problems in work, relationships and even in our experiences of ourselves.
Psychotherapy can help resolve problems from the past. We can learn how our current experience is tinted by phenomena from long ago. By working with a counselor to uncover unresolved problems from the past, we can begin to come to terms with problems we could not face, or resolve earlier. By doing this, we can be freed from trying to work these problems out with our spouses, partners, bosses, teachers or other people with whom these relationship patterns are not really appropriate.
In psychotherapy, the relationship between the therapist and the client often lends very important clues to what is happening in the client (thoughts and feelings) that are often just outside of his or her awareness. By exploring the intersection of these experiences in the therapy with other experiences past and present including thoughts, feelings, wishes, and fantasies, sometimes-profound insights can be made. Over time, and with work, these insights can form the foundation for a different way of experiencing one’s self and for different ways of relating to others.