Marriage poses a paradox. We really do best in a marriage when we can be mature, understand our limitations and foibles and learn to be patient/mature with our spouse. However, there are strong regressive pulls in marriage. We often look to our partner to make up for things in our family of origin. We can benefit from appreciating the wonderful qualities of our partner, even from a dreamy perspective – however, we really do need to balance the dreaminess with the patience that comes from mature love.